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The past couple of weeks have been pretty rough for me. Not in any major way, but in all the little ways that add up to one giant meltdown. My son was sick for over a week, which means I was grounded. I am an active and energetic person, so when I can't get out of the house I go a little bit crazy. My son takes after me in this regard. He loves getting outside to play and meet new people. So, by the end of the 10 days, I was shocked that we both made it out alive because I was pretty sure that one of us wasn't going to make it....and I'm certain it would have been me. Nearing the end of our solitary confinement, I had a meltdown - a big one. You know, the kind where you ugly-cry and then make life-altering decisions in a moment of insanity, like "we aren't having any more children." As the tears cascaded down my face, I told my husband that I was going crazy and didn't feel I was a good mom. It takes a servant's heart to be a mom because that's pretty much the entire job description - serving. For those of you who don't know me, serving is not my spiritual gift. In fact, I didn't even score a 1 on the test; I got a 0.4 in service. And, yet, God has called me to be a mother, and I want to be a mother...despite my brief moment of insanity. So, why would He create me servanthood-deficient, but call me to be a servant?Because His power is made known through our weakness. God calls us to places where He knows we are going to need His help. If He only called us to do things within our comfort zones, would we ever see our great need for God? Definitely not.
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Corinthians 12:9)
We all need a break every now and again, and it's important to take care of ourselves. But, to have a major meltdown over something so minor....well, that tells me that I was not operating out of God's abundant grace for me. It felt too hard because it was too hard. At some point I stopped relying on God to equip and fuel me. I started trusting in myself again. And, since I have no idea what I'm doing, that is a scary place to be. Thankfully, God offers His grace to me when I stray. He gently nudged and convicted me in only a way that He could. He made me see my deficiency by illuminating His sufficiency.
So many people stop at God's salvation, knowing there eternity is secure. But, our God offers so much more. Salvation is the greatest gift He could ever have given to us, and yet, He gives us more still. To be able live forever in heaven reveals God's love, but to be able to live victoriously now reveals His goodness and His abundance. God created us to glorify Him. Not just in heaven, as we spend eternity worshiping and praising His great name; but, right now. Wherever we are and whatever we are doing, we can bring glory to God by completely relying upon Him, allowing His power and strength to shine through our weakness and frailty.
So, when you've reached the end of your rope, be expectant to see God move and work in ways that you never thought possible because "with God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26). He will equip you. He will shower you with His abundant grace. He longs to be glorified in your living and being. Press into Him and He will never fail you (Deuteronomy 31:8). I'm still learning how to fully rely on God instead of myself. It will take a lifetime of sanctification and whole lot of God's grace!
Scriptures Used In This Post:
Matthew 19:26 - "But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (ESV)
Deuteronomy 31:8 - "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you." (NLT)